Month: July 2024

Progression and Understanding!

Duck

So I was at a real low time mentally on the 14th and as you can see from my post I wasn’t really in that GREAT of a mindset. But I can say that today I’ve progressed into  the right direction and channeled the negativity away. I didn’t do it alone but that’s where the understanding and progression comes into play, The person I call my Boo, she helped me realize the storm will pass, the pain will pass. I felt the pain, and I learned from it, but I didn’t have to let it keep settling in on me.

I’m not a perfect man and I’ll never aim to be because then I won’t have any room to grow. My mental health level is higher then it’s ever been in the past 19+ years, and that’s a good thing to me.

I’m going to get back into focusing on getting all my projects off the shelf and get them in motion. I’m currently working on a project that is close to my heart and means a lot to me so if you could please go check it out and join in the discussion. MentalThoughts – It’s a mental health community!

Just a minor update, keep it real and remember YOU MATTER, AIM for the best version of you and never give up!

Sad….ness….. why?

Duck

When you feel so low that it feels like there’s a ton of bricks pressing down on your chest; each moment that goes by, the weight gets heavier until you feel like the only way to breathe (ironically) is to end your life. Then you can leave all the pain behind and you never have to live within the worthless sack of flesh you’ve spent your whole life in.

“I smile, I try, but truth is I want to die” Something in me has just given up. I don’t want anything anymore, none of it can make all this pain go away.

And it hurts that I can’t be what everyone wants, or what anyone needs. and it hurts that I can’t be what I want, or what I need because I’m not enough and I won’t be enough. I’ll never be close to enough and I’m just so dam tired. I’m so broken that I can feel it. I mean physically feel it. This is so much more than being sad now. This is affecting my whole body.

Sometimes I wish I could fade away, and disappear, stop feeling anything at all and cease to exist. I’m good at putting on a smile and being happy but, behind all that I’m really just barley holding on. Don’t be surprised when I disappear.